


Wilthering Down

by MyWolfyWaffleRage



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: //strokes chin in thought, ALL OD THE HYUNGS ARE BASICALLY IN A POLY RELATIONSHIP, All Donghyuck ships in this are platonic until I decide otherwise, Donghyuck my precious bby im sorry, Gonna fish for some NaHyuck content, Let's all appreciate the being that is Lee Donghyuck, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sickfic, Tempted to slip some markhyuck in here, Well most of them are anyway, Will tag as I go along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-07-23 09:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16156025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyWolfyWaffleRage/pseuds/MyWolfyWaffleRage
Summary: Donghyuck is insecure - constantly worrying and thinking about how others see him; how they judge him and scrutinise him. He constantly works himself into the ground in the hopes that he will finally be good enough for his company and his brothers.But no matter how hard he tries: his self hatred will never be satisfied."It breathes down his neck, hisses in hs ears like a snake, tempting him to push harder, work more, and Donghyuck listens. Every. Single. Time."Donghyuck will stop at nothing to make sure he's absolutely perfect. His body, however, doesn't approve and starts to exact revenge in the most effective way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ayy second fic in this fandom let's gooo  
> Hope this is somewhat enjoyable at least  
> I'm trying my best to update Spiral, this is just one of the things I've been writing as well, when I don't have inspiration for it.
> 
> I'm sorry for making Hyuck suffer :( also no one in NCT actually hates him, they love and cherish him!! It's just that he doesn't actually see this.

_"Don't you have someone else to go bother?"_

_"Not now, Haechan!"_

_"Can you just chill out with the clinginess for a second!?"_

_"God, why are you so annoying? If you're just gonna pester me, then buzz off."_

Those were just a handful of the things that had been said to Donghyuck in these past couple of weeks. He seemed to receive nothing but aggressive comments from anyone, even just for breathing.

_"Can you do something useful for once? You're just standing there like an idiot."_

He could understand why - he'd justified it as he lay awake one night, pondering each harsh word spoken to him. Everyone was on edge, pissed off because some incompetent bastard at the studio had fucked up a lot of their recordings, losing then, deleting them, not saving them, whatever else. So much was lost; weeks worth of work now down the drain.

Lost forever.

Everyone was tired, grouchy and snappy. Who wouldn't be?

Donghyuck had been annoyed by it too, but he instead put on his cheerful persona to try and lighten the mood.

It didn't work and everyone was just angry with it - with him - by this point.

They glared at him if he dared to speak above a whisper, harshly shushed him when he laughed, all sorts.

It al fueled his self-hatred. The moment it scented the cruel stench of anger and rejection, it reared its ugly head and snapped its mighty jaws at Donghyuck's crumbling self-esteem.

It breathed down his neck, hissing in hs ears like a snake, tempting him to push harder, work more, and Donghyuck listens. Every. Single. Time.

_Try again. You have to get better._

_Try again. You're nothing if not useless._

_Try again. You're so fucking worthless._

_Try again. Keep going until you drop._

**_Don't let anyone see how week you really are._ **

The razor teeth of this insecurity born monster bore into him, tearing and ripping him apart, spitting back out a mess of what was once someone so happy and carefree.

So it was painful for him, to say the least. Getting reminders each day that he was hated wasn't the most encouraging. As the days went by, he lost his attempts at being uplifting, but they still weren't satisfied.

_"Oh my god - Donghyuck, it's not even the hardest part of the choreography! Pay attention and stop messing around."_

**_It's not his fault the room was tipping sideways, threatening to topple him over._ **

_"You can hit notes better than that. What's gotten into you?"_

**_It's not his fault that his throat was so sore and scratchy that it practically felt like he was swallowing sandpaper._ **

Donghyuck refused to acknowledge his illness. It had struck only a few days ago, starting from small internal feelings of discomfort while he tried to sleep and soon breaking out into heavy, chest battering coughs that he'd only let out when he was sure he wouldn't be heard.

Sometimes, he couldn't help it, though, and all through dance practice with NCT Dream that day, the choreography teacher scolded him constantly for breaking out of form to throw a few week coughs into his elbow. He wanted to argue back, tell the teacher to go fuck themself, but Donghyuck figured that it must be annoying - he must be annoying - with his constant disruptions in practice.

_Why are you so annoying?_

_Do something useful for once._

Needless to say, when he got home to the 127 dorms (the dreamies bidding him farewell with scathing glares for making practice run later. Or at least that's what Donghyuck saw.) Taeyong was on his case.

"Your Choreo teacher said you were messing around a lot in practice, today." The man said sternly, folding his arms as he looked disapprovingly at Donghyuck. "As did your vocal teacher. You need to be serious about this Haechan. Stop acting like a kid and shape your act up! You'll get to fool around after pomotions are done."

Donghyuck sighed, slumping against the wall in exhaustion. He really didn't need this right now.

"Okay. Sorry hyung." He droned out. The leader was appeased by this and left, wandering off to the kitchen.

Just when things couldn't really get worse, they did. Doyoung walked into the living room and past Donghyuck, the younger going to beg him for hugs or some sort of comfort. But his hyung shot him heated daggers and he quit immediately, a hole burning in his chest.

He wanted to go to bed, but he shared a room with others and he also desperately wanted have some guaranteed alone time. He showered, changed clothes and left the dorms again, stumbling back to practice.

When he was walking through the halls of the building, he heard two whispered voices talking to each other. They sounded giddy - exciteable and even smug. Definitely not a...professional conversation going down. He usually ignored gossip and didn't like eavesdropping, but when he heard his name drop in the conversation, he couldn't help but listen.

"Donghyuck? You mean that NCT kid, right?"

"Yeah yeah - the brat who apparently was so much better than us is literally the bane of NCT's existence right now. Every day it's 'Donghyuck's so annoying' or 'Donghyuck needs to grow up.' I even heard someone saying that he should've just been left as a trainee until he was mature enough to work properly. Doesn't surprise me that they hate him so much though. That kid was a nightmare. Too lazy, too much of a brat. I hope he gets kicked out soon. Then maybe someone with actual talent can finally debut after so long."

Not wanting to hear anymore, Donghyuck bolted - though on unsteady legs - off and into an empty practice room. His breathing was ragged, as was his appearance, which laughed at him - mocked him from the mirrors around the room.

His skin had turned an almost frighteningly ashy pale; a far different  colour from his usually beautiful (the fan's words, not his) sun kissed complexion. Around his eyes were dark rings of exhaustion that he usually tried to use makeup to hide, but he wanted to get out if the dorms as fast as he could, so no makeup for him this time.

He slumped against the wall and slid down it slowly, face in his hands as he started to sob softly. He couldn't keep it under control anymore; he needed to discipline his own emotions but he just didn't have the will to do it. Everyone else was right, so why did it hurt him so much? Should the truth hurt this bad?

Tears streamed down his face; he watched again from the mirrors, only able to see the wetness that they left behind on his cheeks.

It was at this moment when a sudden wave of heavy exhaustion took over, the room fading to black and then back again. It happened a few times and he didn't really notice until he was suddenly laying on his side, the whole practice room now at an angle.

_No...not here...please..._

His desperate attempts to stay awake were for nought and his body started shutting down right then and there, his limbs becoming too heavy as he fell back onto his side, arms not being able to hold him up as he tried to escape the darkness.

_Please..._

The world turned to black.

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

10 P.M rolled around and Doyoung quietly crept into his room, ready to flop into his bed and pass out for a year.

He looked over at Donghyuck's bed and was surprised to find it empty. He frowned. The boy hadn't gone to someone else's room, right?

Doyoung did accidentally give him a glare earlier, but it was because of the state the younger was in and the news that he'd apparently been a pain in practice - it just wasn't normal for Donghyuck, the latter part hadn't been an issue in a very long time and the boy wad usually glowing with health.

Mostly everyone went to bed by now after they had all watched a movie together; Doyoung didn't come to get Donghyuck since he thought the boy was sleeping soundly in his bed. He's been looking so tired lately, so exhausted and worn, he deserved the rest.

Donghyuck wasn't in anyone's room when he gathered them all earlier. So he wasn't in the dorm...

Confusion spiked into worry very quickly and and stumbled out of the door. If Donghyuck wasn't in the dorms, then where was he?

"Taeyong!" He yelled, not caring if he woke anyone up. He rushed to the living room to find the leader on the couch with Johnny. Taeyong looked at him with an annoyed but concerned expression.

"What's wrong? Why are you yelling?"

"Where's Donghyuck? He's not in our room like I thought he was. Did he go to the dream dorms?" Doyoung explained hurriedly. The older members on the couch abruptly stood up, looking urgent now.

"No, he didn't tell me anything...Are you sure he isn't here?'

"I'm sure. Everyone's in bed right now, and I haven't seen Donghyuck since Dream came back from their practice."

"Shit!" Taeyong seemed anxious now, taking small steps backwards that were surely going to break out into a pace in any secondm

"What's up? What's the yelling about?"

Everyone turned to see Yuta in the doorway, tired and frowning.

"Have you seen Donghyuck? He's not in his room."

It took a few seconds for him to respond, but suddenly Yuta looked grim, paling a bit.

"I saw him leave in a hurry not long after he got back from practice. He said he was going to do some by himself. That's the last time I saw him today."

Everyone looked at eachother now, scared for the well being of the boy.

Before they could rush around to try and find the 127 maknae, Taeyong's phone rang. Hoping it to be Donghyuck, he answered immediately without checking the name or number.

"Donghyuck?"

"Sorry hyung, it's me."

Kun's voice was shaky from the other end of the line, not from fear,though. It was more...heartbroken?

"But that is why I called you..."

Taeyong's heart thumped at jackhammer speed as he awaited for Kun to continue. He looked at the others, who stared at him with apprehensive looks on their faces.

He heard Kun take a deep and unsteady breath.

"We've already found Donghyuck. And he isn't looking too good."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong, Yuta ans Doyoung learn more of Donghyuck's condition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sjsosmsksdb this toom me longer than it should have honestly  
> Sorry if this chapter sucks. I had to keep coming back to it because I kept losing the flow :((

_**"We've already found Donghyuck. And he isn't looking too good."** _

Taeyong almost sobbed from relief and fear. _God, please let him be safe._

"Where is he? What happened?"

"He's in the U dorms with us, we...We found him passed out in a practice room. God, hyung, his fever was so high, I thought we would have to leave him in the hospital.

"He's sick? And you've already been to the hospital?"

"Very sick. We took him as soon as we found him. The doctors said he just needs to rest for a while, told us not to let him sing or dance for at least a week. I totally forgot to call until now...I'm sorry..."

Taeyong sighed. "It's fine, Kun. You told me now and that's what matters. We'll be there soon, okay?"

"Okay, hyung. Please hurry, though. He woke up a little bit earlier and started crying - I think he needs you guys."

His heart sunk, as did his stomach, both with sadness and dread. His maknae - _his baby_ \- was crying and he hadn't been there to help. "Alright, we'll be as quick as we can. See you soon."

"See you soon."

Taeyong hung up and rubbed his face with his hand.

"Who was it?"

"Kun. Donghyuck's at the U dorms. They found him passed out and running a fever."

The other men looked horrified at that, each one seeming guilty and distraught.

"Now's not the time to get hung up over this. We're going to go see him."

"Okay. I'll stay back to make sure everything's fine here. Taeil knocked out a while ago and I don't want to suddenly leave him or Jaehyun in charge."

Taeyong nodded in acknowledgement.

"Right. Doyoung, Yuta, get ready quickly and we'll go now."

The men scrambled to get ready while Taeyong waited for them, antsy and itching to set off.

They came back not long after, with Doyoung carrying a bag, probably full of Donghyuck's clothes. The looks in their eyes showed nothing but the same eagerness and impatience to get going. Taeying nodded and started walking to the door immediately.

"Let's go."

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

As soon as there was knocking, Kun answered the door. He ushered the three 127 members inside and lead them immediately to his own room, where Donghyuck was wrapped in a blanket, sound asleep.

They were surprised to see Jungwoo and Ten with the boy too, the younger of the two curled around him, also sleeping while the older was running his hand through Donghyuck's hair soothingly.

"Oh, my baby..." Doyoung muttered walking over and gently brushing his hand against Donghyuck's forehead. "He's burning."

"Believe it or not, he's actually improved since we got back. He's woke up a few times but he's mostly just been delirious."

As if on cue, Donghyuck started stirring, whining pitifully.

"Hyung...?"

"Shh, baby, we're here," Doyoung mumbled softly, moving his hand to gently brush against Donghyuck's cheek.

"My head hurts...Wanna practice...need to practice..."

"You can't angel. Doctor's said you can't for at least a week, okay?"

"That's too long!" He pouted, looking straight up near horrified. "H-How...How am I gonna improve?" His speech was but a murmur - barely audible and slightly jumbled together.

"You don't need to improve your dancing, sweetheart, you need rest." Taeyong crouched down to be at level with the sick boy, eyes sparkling with sympathy. His appearance was nothing if not shattered. "Just focus and getting better, okay? Can you do that for me?"

Donghyuck seemed like he wanted to protest, his expression showing hesitance and a slight hint of desperation, but after a few seconds he gave in, a defeated look replacing his previous one as he let himself sink into the bed. He wasn't going anywhere any time soon. He nodded and it earned him a ruffle of his hair from the leader.

"Thank you. Get some more sleep Hyuckie. We'll be here when you wake up."

The conversation must have exhausted the poor boy, as he fell asleep withinin seconds, body not quite relaxing as much as it should, but it was enough.

"He doesn't look good at all," Yuta grimaced, taking in the state of his younger brother-like friend. Skin pale, eyes surrounded by a bruisey darkness, flushed cheeks, the works. 

"It's worrying that he still wanted to practice in this state." Taeyong hummed grimly "There's no way he feels fine - not with the state he's in."

"D'you think he's overworking himself?" Ten finally spoke, face hardened to something fierce and protective, but his words were soft. Taeyong nodded.

"I'd say without a doubt. Think about it - first he's obviously run into the ground, we've all noticed that recently. Plus, he's sick and these things don't happen in a day, which means he's been dealing with it for a few days at least." Taeyong ran a hand through his hair anxiously, letting out a shaky sigh. "Fuck, I should've seen this coming...Jaemin even texted me to make sure Hyuck was okay after practice but I...Told him off instead."

"What? Why did you tell him off?" Doyoung raised an eyebrow, looking at Taeyong with an astounded and ever so slightly mortified expression.

"His choreography teacher and vocal teacher said he'd been unfocused and goofing off. It was only after I scolded him that Renjun and Chenle told me that Hyuck had been no less focused than anyone, but that he'd-..."  realisation began to dawn but then crashed over Taeyong's features. He looked distraught and Yuta caught him by the shoulders to snap him out of it.

"Hyung. What's wrong? Talk to us."

"They said he was just coughing. Really badly as well and the teachers jumped on him for it...I yelled at him for being sick..."

"Tae. You didn't know until after." Yuta stated sternly, fixing Taeyong with a firm glare. "Don't blame yourself for this. You have too keep strong for him okay?"

Taeyog only nodded numbly, looking down at Donghyuck with a guilty expression. Clearly they'd have to have a longer talk later.

"What does he have anyway?" Taeyong looked over to Kun, who straightened up as the 127 members looked over to him.

"They said it's just the flu, but they think him overworking has worsened the effects of it. They told us strictly no practicing until he's better, or else he might burn out on us."

"God how did he get this bad?" Doyoung sighed, rubbing his face tiredly.

"Don't start blaming yourself, either." Ten ordered "You guys have been stressed out lately, it's easy to have missed his behaviour. Plus, he's good at hiding these things. This isn't the first time he's crashed, just the first time it's been this bad."

"Yeah...I've been so harsh on him lately though." He looked down at Donghyuck again; he seemed so tiny and fragile in Jungwoo's arms and he could've sworn that he heard his heart crack and splinter like ice.

"It wasn't just you, Tae. I think a few of us have snapped at him lately."

"That's right. The company's been at our throats, everyone's been stressed out. All of us have been harsh to each other at some point; we just have to right our wrongs, make sure no one's actually been horribly affected. Like our full sun."

They all agreed silently, a tense silence filling the air afterwards. It suffocated them all, smothered them in the guilt and dismay that radiated from the leader most of all.

"Do you guys want to take him back to your dorm?" Kun asks, eyeing Jungwoo, who was still wrapped around Donghyuck.

Taeyong pondered the question for a few seconds, also taking note of Jungwoo's protective hold, before shaking his head.

"He can stay here for now, if that's okay. I think moving him would just disturb him and he needs as much rest as he can get." Kun nodded in understanding and smiled.

"It's fine, of course he can stay. You guys can, too, if you want."

Taeyong looked at Doyoung and Yuta, sharing a silent conversation. They needed to tell everyone what had happened - or at the very least tell Johnny so he's not left in the dark. It was also probably better for one of them to stay behind so they wouldn't be taking up the U members' space too much.

"I'll go back and inform the others about what's going on." Taeyong stated.Yuta nodded and stood up, joining Taeyong's side.

"I'll come with. Doyoung, are you staying?"

The man nodded in confirmation, realising that they had practically chosen him to stay anyway. He always seemed to be one of the best at comforting the younger members, so he supposed it was only natural for him to stay. Just in case.

"Yeah, I'll not sleep otherwise." He adds on, giving a half-hearted smile.

"Okay, that's fine. We'll come by to get Hyuck tomorrow, sleep well, everyone."

Everyone declared their parting words and soon enough, Kun and Doyoung were left with their two sleeping members, Ten retiring to his room not long after Yuta and Taeyong left.

( _"He's been having a bit of trouble sleeping lately." Kun mumbled softly. "I guess this all thing tired him out."_ )

There was a heavy silence wrapped around them, though it was broke  every so often by the usual night life noises coming from outside. They looked at each other before quietly starting to converse.

They talked about nothing and everything into the night, until Kun slowly fell asleep sitting up at the end of the bed. Doyoung stared for a few seconds, also caught up in a daze, before gently guiding Kun so he could lay down beside Donghyuck and Jungwoo. He settled for the other bed in the room and was out like a light in no time at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! I'ma hopefully have a bettee chapter out soon, but for now, we have this.  
> If you like my other fic Spiral, I can tell you that the next chapter for that will be here soon!! I just need to stoo chaging the idea for it so much lmaoo


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck wakes up ad regrets everything.  
> 00 line are there to try and pick up the pieces.  
> Meanwhile, Yuta is having a crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. LORD. I HAVEN'T UPDATED SINCE OCTOBER AND I'M SO SO SORRY FOR THAT!!! I swear I've been struggling with this chapter ever since I started it and I'm so sorry that it's taken me this long to finally complete!!
> 
> Apologies aside, here it is! the third chapter some of you may have been waiting for. (If you haven't given up hope on this fic, I seriously applaud you.) It's...not as good as it should be, seeing how it took me three months to write.
> 
> Anywayy, I have a tumblr now btw! Come ask me questions or just generally chat w/ me at 'Wafflehyuckie'!

It felt like he was floating right now. Suspended in a dark, lonely void - an abyss that lacks any form of light. It's scary, but at the same time, it's also calming. Here, Donghyuck can't do anything wrong - doesn't have responsibilities. He actually liked the way the nothingness curled around him and almost seemed to cradle him. He felt cared for, as strange as that sounded. In this place, he wasn't glared at. In this place, no one yelled at him for fucking up. In this place, the constant feelings of being useless and worthless were banished, stripped away to give him some peace of mind.   
  
But all good things must come to an end, even this quiet and gentle time the void gave. He was disappointed, but not surprised really, and so he let himself be pulled upwards, towards echoing, muffled voices and a now glaringly bright light.   
  
♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧   
  
Jaemin was thankful that the hyungs let them see Donghyuck. He'd been worried most of the night, pacing, fretting, panicking until Renjun and Jisung (of all duos) forced him to sit down and relax.   
  
"You're not doing anyone any favours by pacing around and gnashing at your fingernails, Nana." Renjun had snarked, albeit softly and without much bite to it.   
  
When they reached the room Donghyuck was in, they found it empty, though they figured it hadn't been for long. Everyone was worried for Donghyuck, so the likelihood of him being left alone was next to impossible.   
  
Jaemin sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at his sick friend and feeling his gut twist with sympathy. Jeno and Renjun sat down as well, on either side of Donghyuck, looking appalled at the sight of him; so unlike his normally glowing and healthy appearance.    
  
"He looks awful," Renjun muttered "How did he get this bad? We promised that we wouldn't let this happen again." He touched the washcloth on the boys head, checking the temperature of it. Still cold - so someone had been here recently, just as they thought.    
  
Jaemin gave a reassuring pat to Renjun's leg,thumbing the material of his jeans softly.   
  
"You know how he is, Injun," he responded, looking at the older with a  warm, sympathetic gaze.    
  
Jeno nodded in agreement and ran his hand through Donghyuck's hair gently. "He's good at hiding these things, there's no need to blame yourself or anyone else for this. It happens, sometimes, and we just need to be here for him."   
  
Renjun sighed and relented. "Yeah. Guess you're right."   
  
Donghyuck whined in discomfort and turned his head, fingers twitching as he woke up.   
  
"Hyuckie?" Jeno's hand moved to gently rest on Donghyuck's cheek, his thumb gently rubbing over it in a soothing manner. "Hyuckie? Are you back with us?"   
  
"Mhhnn..." was the garbled response given, paired with the boy cringing and shuffling around restlessly.    
  
"C'mon Hyuck...it's okay. We're here."   
  
At last, Hyuck's eyes flickered open weakly.   
  
♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧   
  
Yuta sighed as he entered the 127 dorm, body weighed down by stress and worry - all of which stemming from Hyuck's much less than perfect condition.    
  
The boy was a blessing - a cheerful, energetic presence that always brought everyone's spirits up. He was cheeky and mischievous, prone to causing all types of trouble that he'd laugh off. Yuta appreciated that and, like the others, he cherished the brightness that radiated from their sassy 127 maknae.   
  
He had noticed lately that the sunshine boy had been...off. He was quieter and seemed like he was focusing more, but at the same time focusing less.   
  
It was strange, and until now no one actually knew why it was happening. Each time someone would ask the boy, he'd smile his bright little smile and assure them that he was fine.   
  
Obviously, he wasn't fine.   
  
But no one dared to question it further - they had all assumed Hyuck was just as tired as they all were.   
  
It was a stupid move, but they didn't have many other options, and Yuta now wished that they hadn't been such giant chickens. Wished that they could just go back in time and keep pestering Hyuck for the answer until he snapped.    
  
That would've created problems in and of itself, but he doubts that they would've been as bad as what actually happened as a result of their lack in persistence.    
  
His train of thought came to a grinding halt as he walked face first into something. He recoiled slightly in surprise, almost stumbling backwards if it weren't for the arms that caught him and steadied him.   
  
"Yuta? Are you feeling alright?"   
  
Yuta blinks back to his senses and he looks up at what - or more accurately, who - he walked into.   
  
"What...? O-Oh! Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for walking into you. I was just...lost in thought." His eyes flittered away from Johnny's, anxious and unable to stay focused on area for longer than a few seconds.   
  
The older man gave him a sympathetic smile and brought his hand up to lift Yuta's chin so their eyes could meet, even if Yuta tried to divert his gaze, he couldn't stray away for long.    
  
When their eyes met, Johnny could see the worried and restless energy in the younger's and he sighed, bringing him in for a hug.   
  
Yuta's breath hitched in surprise, but he quickly responded, his thin arms clutching back at the giant.   
  
"I can't believe we let this happen." Yuta muttered quietly, tears threatening to spill. "It was happening right in front of us and we didn't even stop it!"   
  
Johnny gently shushed the younger, running a hand through his hair softly.   
  
"I know, angel. I know. We messed up but it'll be fine, alright? Hyuckie will be okay and we'll take away an important lesson from this."   
  
Yuta had nothing else to say - too emotional to actually form words. Instead he nodded into Johnny's chest and let the older man guide him down the hall and into his room.   
  
♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧   
  
"I went off the rails again." Donghyuck curled his knees up to his chest, resting his arms on top of them as he hid his face.   
  
"It's not your fault, Hyuckie." Jaemin replied softly, gazing at his friend with sympathy. It burned into Donghyuck and the older boy sighed shakily, fingers tapping aimlessly on his arms. His whole body felt jittery and restless, the muscles just beneath his skin quivering lightly with a confusing energy.   
  
"It is. I'm the one who took everything to heart. I'm the one didn't try hard enough." Was the small, muttered response that arose from the sick boy; the sound of it being nothing if not pitiful. He internally cringed at how pathetic he sounded.   
  
"That's bullshit and you know it, Hyuck." The tone was firm and made Hyuck flinch. He looked over at Renjun, both of them sending guilty and apologetic looks at each other, clashing without meaning to.   
  
"Hyuckie, don't blame yourself for this. We're not back at square one - this shouldn't be seen as a set back." Jaemin began, reaching over and rubbing Donghyuck's arm gently. "You haven't lost any of the progress that you made. This'll pass and you'll keep getting better. These kinds of things happen, sunshine. It’s just important that you work past them and I know you will.”

 

Donghyuck sighed, refusing to cast his gaze up now. With a bank stare at his blankets, he nodded.

 

“I guess you’re right.” He muttered quietly, though to him it was amplified - too loud in the too quiet room. He cringed, his own voice too overbearing for him. “I just need to work harder. Get better again.”

 

The other boys smiled and Jeno finally spoke up, taking one of Hyuck’s hands in his own to make the younger look at him.

 

“That’s right. But for now, you need to take it easy. Let yourself rest, Hyuckie. You can’t get better otherwise.”

  
Another silent nod was the only response he gave before tugging Jeno’s hand slightly bringing him closer so he could lean on him, curling up against the older’s side. The other two boys followed suit, shifting around until they all settled around Hyuck, the boy in Jaemin’s lap as Renjun and Jeno sat at either side, the younger of the two holding hands with him again.   
  
It was in this secure shell that Donghyuck relaxed and before he knew it, his eyes were closing and the world was drifting away. With a small, final mutter of ‘thank you’ he fell asleep, shutting off from the rest of the world once more and returning to the gentle, dark abyss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEET thanks for reading! As always, comments and kudos are appeciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, comments, kudos and feedback are always welcome :) Take care and have a nice day!


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